Klassen Communications Blog

You may not know Dr. Ivan Misner by name, although you’re probably aware of his creation: Business Network International, also known as BNI.

I’m kind of tying this article in with my last article on Chambers networking events. At that end of that article, I linked to an article I wrote long ago on how to approach networking events.

If there’s anyone who knows how to master networking, it’s Dr. Misner. I was reminded of this as I read an article of his in the November/December 2009 issue of Networking Times magazine.

Networking Times is primarily focused on network marketers. However, I’ve found that most of the articles in each issue are easily applied to any business. In that issue, Dr. Misner talks about a couple of things I talked about in my article on how to make the most of networking events. For example, he mentions getting a professionally-made name badge and acting like a host at networking events, not a guest.

Obviously, Dr. Misner didn’t get those ideas from my article. In fact, as a former member of BNI, I probably got those ideas from him or the BNI organization in general.

But as I was thinking about all this, I remembered a conference call I was on where Dr. Misner was a guest. With a relatively small number of people taking part in the call, we each had a chance to ask Dr. Misner a question. While I can’t recall what I asked, I do remember a brilliant piece of advice he gave.

I figured I couldn’t explain it any better than he could, so I scoured the Internet and found where he described the same idea he told us on the call. Sure enough, I found this article – Shape up Your Business With Networking Aerobics – where Dr. Misner explains “open or closed two and threes.” It’s point #4 in the article.

It’s brilliant stuff. It’s even more brilliant if you consider yourself the shy type and not sure how to approach a room full of people you don’t know.

By the way, I’ve said this before (and it’s a bit harsh) but I’ll say it again since it applies: At a networking event, nobody cares that you’re shy. Either get over it on your own, or join a group like Toastmasters to help you speak with confidence.

I’ve run into more than a few people at networking events and seminars who are really shy. In fact, it’s the only thing they’re not shy about: Telling other people how shy they are. I’m obviously not a psychologist, but these folks seem to take more-than-healthy bit of comfort in being shy and letting other people know about it. However, as a freelancer, it really doesn’t serve you well.

I don’t consider myself either shy or out-going. But I understood early on that if I was going to make any progress in networking and as a freelancer, I was going to have to get over any issues I might have facing groups of people I didn’t know. In some cases, I’ve faked it… I pretended to be more out-going than I really was. Nobody knew, nobody cared.

I’ve also mentioned that as a Chamber Ambassador, part of the job was to be a host at Chamber networking events. That was actually a big help to me… I had to be out-going since it was part of the job as an Ambassador. It’s almost like an actor who has to take on a new personality as part of a role.

I’m not saying you should be a fake, insincere person. I’m saying you sometimes have to step a bit outside of yourself to achieve your goals. That might include playing some mental games with yourself so you’re not focused on whatever fear you might have in new situations.

Hopefully, over time, those temporary qualities you adopt for these situations will become a real part of your everyday personality that benefits your business and the people you associate with.